" I'll Carry You Out Every Morning Till Death Do Us Part "

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart."

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6.

My Shoes

Thank God for my shoes - it fits.

I woke up one day and  I realized that there were many things about my life I was not satisfied with or better still, there were chalenges that were threatening my soul.

And I said to myself, 'Why should anyone envy me and want to be in my shoes?' They don't know how far I've come, they don't know what lies ahead of me, and neither do they know how dissatisfied I get with myself from time to time.

People don't know the troubles that you've had or the price you had to pay to get to where you are. All they want to know is that they wish they were like you.

Why should you wish you were in anybody's shoes when you hardly know how they fit?

When you've worn your shoes for a while, they take the shape of your feet and align to the way you walk. If you were to wear my shoes, you will not be comfortable in them.

So, I stopped wishing that I am in someone else's shoes because it might not fit; rather, I thank God for my shoes, because they fit!

I have learnt to be the best in what I do, and I know no-one can replace me anywhere and in any sphere.

I am an original, my God is not in the cloning business. He makes originals!

Make the best of that you do for you have this beautiful like to live ONLY ONCE.

Live it to the fullest !

Langkawi - Here I Come

Yippie ! Will be leaving for Langkawi on the 28th August, together with Dad, Mum and Lai Yenn. Unfortunately syg couldnt follow as he had to travel to Turin, Italy at the very last minute.
Syg oh ticket burned. But luckily the ticket is through enrich points redemption.

Can't wait to bring Daniel jalan-jalan. Hehehehe....

Headmistress A Racist

I am commenting on the recent news in The Star about a headmistress in SMK in Kulai Jaya uttered racist remarks.

I mean, I can't believe it. Here I thought the education system of Malaysia was suppose to instill the spirit of 1Malaysia. We are very fortunate of having a peaceful country - a country where different race and religion stay together peacefully.

I wonder why this headmistress utter such a remarks? I hope she will be sack for causing disharmony and disunity, especially in among the young generation, whom we rely to bring the country to the next step.

HCD Approval Status - Update 2

I guess it is final.

I am not going to Czech Republic. I will only be going to Annapolis, US. Why ?
My boss said no, and that's final.
My feeling ? "Saya yang menurut perintah" is all I can say and feel.

Maybe it's a blessing in disguise. That means, all of us can attend my cousin's wedding in September.
Well, I can only hope, but the ultimate decision lies on my boss, and he has made his stand.

Daily Prayer

I like the prayer which was on Christine @ Mariam's page (http://mariamaisha.blogspot.com/), therefore, I would like to share it with all of you:

Lord,
Teach me to be generous,
Teach me to serve You as You deserve,
To give and not to count the cost,
To fight and not to heed the wounds,
To toil and not to seek for rest,
To labour and not to seek for reward,
Save that of knowing I do Your most Holy Will

Selamat Berpuasa or Happy Fasting

Today marks the first day of fasting for all my Muslim friends. Therefore, wishing everyone, Happy Fasting and may this holy month of Ramadhan brings peace and solitude to all those who are seeking for it.

May it also bring us all closer to one another - after all, we are all human beings, brothers and sisters, who, by God's grace, were given a chance to live on the Earth.

Do You Have What It Takes To Be A True Leader ?

An excerpt taken from an email... I think this is very true, and all of us should reflect on what is happening in our beloved country now.

China is coming up, India is coming up, Vietnam is coming up and now even Russia is on the rise. In this flat but wired world regardless of whether we are Malaysian Malay, Chinese or Indian, if Malaysia fails to progress, all of us will become history of this country.

Without the Malays, Chinese could not do well in the country and without the Chinese, Malays will not do well either. Both have to work together to uplift Malaysia and mitigate the acute impact that is being brought about by globalisation.

A true leader is someone who has the vision that focuses not just on one particular ethnic group in the country but instead nurture the future for everyone. A good leader is someone who knows what the biggest threat the country is facing and directs the people to stave off that threat. A good leader is also someone who is impartial in his ability to promote harmony in the country for as long as possible.

Joke For Today - Nationwide

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS:
Ajinomoto

NATIONAL INSTANT FOOD :
Maggi Mee

NATIONAL BREAKFAST :
Nasi Lemak

NATIONAL LUNCH :
Nasi Ayam

NATIONAL SUPPER :
Roti Canai & Teh Tarik

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE:
Traffic Jam

NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION :
Pineapple

NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK:
Stout. Many Malaysian men swear by it. But then after a few pints they start swearing at everything.. .

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN):
Food Poisoning

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN):
Menstrual Pain

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
Everything on earth..

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
None. Malaysian men never refuse sex.

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIARRHOEA :
Cap Kaki Tiga.

NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES:
Panadol.

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:
Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.

NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
Happy Hours.

NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
The sight of a police road block.

NATIONAL RICE COOKER :
NATIONAL Rice Cooker

NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP:
Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.

NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME:
Carrefour.

NATIONAL ANSWER FOR 'WHERE ARE YOU?':
On the way.

NATIONAL OFFICIAL TIME FOR BEING LATE:
10 minutes

NATIONAL REASON FOR PRICE INCREASE:
Petrol naik

NATIONAL REASON FOR PETROL INCREASE:
Still cheaper than other country

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR CAUSING TRAFFIC JAM:
There was accident on the other side of the road

NATIONAL REASON WHEN REJECTING INVITATION :
'I got some work to do..u all go first'

NATIONAL REASON FOR COLLAPSED BUILDINGS & LEAKY PARLIAMENT ROOFS:
An act of God.

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR IRRESPONSIBLE POLITICAL STATEMENTS:
None. We were misquoted.

NATIONAL MINISTERIAL REASON FOR INCREASING TOLL RATES:
Lu ingat ini jalan saya punya bapak punya kah?

NATIONAL EXCUSE NOT PAYING SAMAN ACCORDING TO DUE DATE:
Government will give discount one of these days

NATIONAL EXCUSE TO BRIBE:
Minum kopi

They Pisses Me Off !

I hate people who don't owe up that they have made a mistake. And I further dislike people who blames others without knowing the actual fact.

Most of all, I dislike people who threaten others.

I am offended with these behaviours shown by the local sub-contractor. They really pisses me off.

Brooch 'n' Bracelets Closet - SALE

In conjuction of the month of Ramadhan and Syawal, we are pleased to announce that Brooch 'n' Bracelet Closet will be having a SALE.

Purchase any 2nd item for a 50% discount. Purchases above RM100 will get FREE DELIVERY SERVICE.

Hurry and get your favourite brooch and bracelets now. Terms and conditions applied.

 

Terms and Conditions:

1. To enjoy the 50% discount, minimum purchase of 2 item is required.
2. Discount on the 2nd item will based on the lower price between two items.
3. Free delivery applied for purchases made above RM100.

 

HCD Approval Status - Update

Finally got my approval yesterday.


And guess what - I was allowed to travel and present paper to both the conference. One is the 61st International Astronautical Congress which will be held at Czech Republic, and another conferece is the 26th Space Simulation Conference, which will be held at Annapolis, Maryland, US.

Ok, this certainly comes at a surprise, for I kinda expected that I'll have to forego the Czech Republice one.
So, once again, I thank my lucky star (which, in this case, I thank God) for giving me the opportunity.
Yahoo ! I get to present my paper after all !

But my colleague's application was rejected, because he travelled quite a number of times already for this year. So sad and frust for him.

The Biggest Loser (Couple Season)

I was watching Biggest Loser Couples Season 2 (I think), which was shown last night on Hallmark channel. These reality shows always put me to tears as I was so touched by the commitment they are putting in in order to change their lifestyle.

Last night's show was the 2nd last episode where they were down to four - Tara, Helen, Mike and Ron. And last night's show was the show that made me cry the entire time. They were given the final challenge - marathon. A whopping 26.2 mile was the distance they have to run, and marathon was never in the list of exercise and not even contemplating to do marathon at all. So, for all the finalists to be able to realize that they can actually do it and finish it was amazing. Tears rolled down as I saw each and everyone of them finishing the race. Some ran, some walk and they all had people cheering them on, running alongside with them.

I was pratically sobbing the way I see how determined Ron was to finish the marathon. Though he was the last in the group, and with an injury to the knee, plus blood pressure shoot up as he was at 9th mile, he continued. It may took him 13 hours to finally finish the race, but for me, I dare say, he had won that night. Knowing that he can't go on, he did. Knowing that his injury will hampered him, he marched on. Waiting on the other end was his son, Mike, also with tears rolling down.

I began to realized that only strong determination can pull us through. And whatever that happen in our life, our families and loved ones are there to anchor us. And that's all that matters. No matter who tries to bring us down, we will stand up again with the support of our family.

Perfect Living '10

My two sygs and I were scouting for new sofa last week. We spent 4 hours in and around Bukit Tinggi, into 8 or more shops, looking for a new set of sofa that we both like.

And this weekend, I am planning to go here :

Purpose ? To scout for more bargains and designs. Our choice seems to be fabric sofa (due to budget constraint), so hopefully we manage to find one that we both love. Hehehe...

Syg, syg, we go on Sat ah...  ;)

HCD Approval Status

Am still awaiting approval status of the long submitted HCD.
Da la lambat proses, now they are questioning me of being so active in submitting paper for conference. Since I went overseas last year 3 times, so this year they don't allow me to go so many times. Since there are two of my papers were reviewed for approval (mind you, those papers were already been accepted to be presented at the conference), they are asking me to choose only one.
The other one - "Ask your co-writer to go and present la" was their reply. I penat-penat tulis, senangnya you suruh orang lain untuk present kan ?

Sakitnya hati ku.